Thursday, January 13, 2011

ruined again

Poor Tim. Sometimes when I try to feed him, it just doesn't work out.

The good news, though, is that in our new apartment, the smoke detectors seem to have a very high tolerance level. So when smoke was billowing from the oven, no alarms were triggered.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

bang it

Today I was chatting with a coworker who is coordinating a project I'm working on. She was chatting with me to set up a due date for one of my edits. The following messages were exchanged after she asked me when I could complete my edit:

me: ummm, probably monday/tuesday sometime?

coworker: Okay :) Lets due [sic] Tuesday COB.

me: ok

me: bang it!!!!!!!!

coworker: bang it?

Errrr . . .

Tim is a champ at accidentally transmitting seemingly inappropriate messages to unsuspecting coworkers. In his defense, he thought his message was going to a friend we both know; he didn't mean anything crass by typing it. And he's kind of embarrassed it went to someone else. But the jury is still out on the meaning of "bang it": benign or raunchy? You decide.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Operation Ring Retrieval

Though he would probably say otherwise, Tim is addicted to playing with his wedding ring.


Though I've told him to stop, there must be something irresistible about shiny spinning objects. I guess it is pretty cool and all.

One day while agonizing over finals, Tim could be found productively spinning his ring on the counter in the kitchen.

He looks so happy to be playing with his ring rather than working on yet another 15-page paper (see figure).

Suddenly, disaster strikes when Tim loses control of his ring and it catapults onto the floor from counter 1. After searching on the floor near counter 2 where Tim suspects it landed, he cannot find it. It has disappeared into oblivion! (A lesser person might be tempted to say something like "I told you so" here, but I'm too saintly and wholesome for that.)

"Son of a . . . !!!"
As you can see from the picture, Tim is not enjoying himself as much anymore. His ring is lost (and apparently his arms, face, and hair are too (Actually, that was an artist error. I created the second image before the first and decided to add more detail, but was too lazy to go back and replicate the details in the second image.)).

"Wife is going to kill me!" Tim thinks to himself as he explores the area thoroughly. He realizes there is something strange about the format of the kitchen here:
As you can see from the excellently rendered graphic description, there is space between the baseboard and the bottom of the kitchen cabinets. Tim's attempts to put his hand through the space are unsuccessful. He's lucky if he can squeeze his fingers in there past his knuckles. Apparently the ring is irrecoverable.

But Tim will not give up so easily (partially because I won't let him). Operation Ring Retrieval begins. The mission is to recover the ring without noticeable damage to the apartment so as to retain our deposit.

Upon further inspection, Tim discovers that the baseboards are covered by a facade that can be easily removed. There is no choice, of course, but to saw through the baseboard to access the space under the cabinets, get the ring, then replace the facade.

Let the sawing commence.

Notice the gap between the top of the wood and the bottom of the cabinets. It's not just that Tim has fat fingers; obviously it's a small spot. Visibility of all areas under the cabinets was severely limited. The ring remained aloof.

We questioned the wisdom of further damage-inducing ring retrieval attempts. After all, the ring is less valuable than the apartment deposit. Would Operation Ring Retrieval compromise it?

Good thing Meredith came back to town.

Operation Ring Retrieval was given new life when Meredith returned from her Christmas vacation, bringing along her super-human problem-solving capabilities and her new iPhone. She put the iPhone through the hole and recorded video, moving the camera around to reveal the hidden depths that had been invisible to our un-iPhone-aided eyes.

Look! There's the ring!

After cutting a new hole, Tim reached his skinny little hand through it and . . . well, see for yourself:

Operation Ring Retrieval: success! And best of all, after we put the facades back in place, you can't tell we did anything. Here's hoping the landlord never finds out (or finds this blog . . . good thing I'm publicizing this tale on the world-wide-internets, eh?)!